Greenwood

I know, I know. I've been away for awhile. Graduation, moving back home, a dear friend's wedding. It's not that I've been that busy though (I'm in Greenwood, SC with no job). To be honest, I feel stuck. I don't credit it to the whole exhaustion and letdown after graduation bit. Even after exams of any past semester, I've been going so much that I find it quite difficult to stop.

I never want to stop. I want to always be productive. I hate pausing. I hate extended breaks.

I've hit a wall, and I think it has to do with my location. I had to briefly move back in with my mom and sister in Greenwood so I could revamp my portfolio and improve it for interviewing in D.C. I want to move to D.C. and get a design job there. I think it's a good place to start out. I have friends around there and one in particular that knows the area. I still want to eventually get to Ireland (within 5 years), and D.C. would be a lot more recognizable than Greenville. I'm determined to do it.

There's one problem: I have limited amount of money and am stuck in Greenwood until I can move. I've never encountered a place such as this. I can't be productive here. Maybe it's the cluttered house and cramped space. Maybe it's that I feel that I don't have a workspace (my "workspace" consists of a fold-out table in the middle of a crowded den where my mom walks through continually each day and feels the need to talk about anything and everything). I can't concentrate. I hardly have room to breathe here.

It's not an ideal working space, but the town itself makes me feel stuck. I used to spend most of my extra time at bookstores, sitting for hours in Barnes & Noble and reading whole books in the store. There are no large bookstores in Greenwood. The library is a sad building with computers from the 90's and an inefficient organization system. I need to get out of here, but I need to work and produce what needs to be done for my portfolio before I can get out.

I've never been so unmotivated and unproductive in such a long period of time, and I'm scared, because I can't see the end of it until I get out of Greenwood. I've never been in such a place where I feel so stuck.